Friday, November 13, 2015

Losing the Emotional Weight

I tried this dress on today to see whether I need to keep it or get rid of it, and WOW I honestly did not know my body has changed that much.

The picture on the left was from freshman year in college, 5 years ago.  The photos on the right are from today.

I've come really far since this dress was rocked in the picture on the left.  That girl 
> was depressed
> was abusing her body with food and alcohol
> wasn't in control of her life
> wasn't owning her happiness

The girl on the right, the one you see today is
✔ Confident
✔ No longer abusing her body by binge eating or consuming more alcohol than needed
✔ Knows how to control her life
✔ Has truly found happiness and WANTS TO SHARE IT!

Between freshman and sophomore year of college, I decided it was time to change.  It was time to stop over eating, to stop drinking only sweet tea and instead start drinking water, and to start exercising.  Being conscious of my nutrition and fitness was something I never had to think about before, because I had always been involved in sports.  The coaches always told us what to do.

I took my health into my own hands, doing at home fitness.  While I lost the weight, and toned up some, I didn't lose that emotional baggage.  That, has taken me years, and honestly, is still a work in progress.  I can truly say, I have found what helps me.  I am doing personal development, listening to motivational speakers, taking action, writing goals, climbing over myself when I get knocked down, and I am so much happier than I have been in years.

I'm truly thankful for the life I have found and for the people it has brought into my life.

I hope if you are facing anything that is tearing you down, that you too start seeking out what it is that's holding you back from making a change, that you take action, and that you truly believe in yourself, in God's plan for you, and start living the type of life that brings joy to not only you, but to those around you.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

A Summary of Time

Life has been happening.

Life has been amazing.

Braelyn has been growing.

Mom has battled depression, beat it, and is coming back with vengeance. 

Postpartum depression is no joke.

Postpartum hormones are no joke.

Being unsatisfied with your job is no joke.

Crying daily is no joke.

Throwing fits of anger towards those who care the most, that is no joke.

Literally throwing things, is no joke.

Accepting love is no joke.

Healing from diastasi recti is no joke.

Nursing, the most selfless thing I have done, is no joke.

Trying something new is scary, and again, no joke.

Being told to do personal development, and being so angry that you say you don't need it, is no joke.

Submitting yourself to God, is not joke.

Making new friends is no joke.

Realizing that some of these closest friends, you actually haven't met in person, but communicate with daily, is no joke.

Doing personal development and it truly impacting your life, is no joke.

Being happy, consistently, every day as a choice, is no joke.

Truly believing in yourself and in what you deserve, is no joke.

Forgiving yourself, is no joke.

All of these things and more have happened over the past year. This has been the most challenging and most rewarding year of my entire life.  Our marriage has grown.  My maturity has grown.  My leadership has grown.  My self control has grown.  My happiness has grown.  

Is every day amazing with rainbows and butterflies? Absolutely not.  Do I find something in every day that makes me happy, something to be grateful for?  Absolutely.

I've been growing, I've been learning, I've been struggling, and I'm coming back.  I want to share more of my story.  I want to help others struggling by sharing parts of me.  I am back.